Don't get mad

i know i shouldn't do this and anyway i hate this story but this website is so funny

apparently somebody at CBS wrote a pseudo-obituary of the paralyzed woman and it slipped onto the news web site by accident before she died (is she dead yet? i don't even care). that must have been a terrifying tragedy for the poor woman; imagine reading your own obituary in the national press... but apparently she's fighting back. this other story, hilariously also on CBS, includes this quote from a full blown follower of st. francis of assisi: "Everyone is willing to write this woman's obituary except one person. And that's Terri Schiavo herself."

i should say not; she doesn't have a will.

also, did you guys realize the reason she's in a coma is because she was bulimic and had a heart attack during a wretching fit? okay, maybe she wasn't literally puking at the time, but she deprived herself so much her body spasmed for lack of nutrients and incited a bizarre anatomical reaction that cut off blood to her brain. this whole dispute about "killing" her centers on the feeding tube -- she's better nourished now than when she had control of herself! why isn't that an issue? would the catholic church be defending someone who nearly died trying to commit suicide, only the bullet simply destroyed brain function and left the hopeless sinner alive? what's the difference if you try to starve to death?

imagine if there'd been so many court appeals while jesus was on the cross. we'd have been celebrating differently last sunday, that's for sure. it doesn't matter to me. i'm jewish. i just want palestine to recognize terry schiavo's right to exist. (btw, did you see israel's ridiculous header to equalize against france?) too bad hunter s. thompson didn't survive long enough to witness this mess. but at least we know how he wanted to end his life.

alright i'll end this before i'm (s)excommunicated. it may already be too late. pray for me.